"Children want to feel instinctively that their father is behind them as solid as a mountain, but, like a mountain, is something to look up to."
~ Dorothy Thompson
Today's Toolbox is not really about real estate...but it is. It's kind of a second eulogy to my Dad but it's also a lesson for all of us because, like the quote above, my father was a mountain of man. He died much too soon at the age of 61 eleven years ago today.
Many of you who are reading this have lost a parent. Perhaps some of you may have lost both parents. To those of you, I want you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you today and especially on the anniversary of their deaths.
To those of you who still have both parents alive and well, please take a moment today to reach out and tell them you love them. There should be no reason needed - just call them and say "I just wanted to tell you I love you." If they are close by, drive over, give them a hug and say the same thing - "I love you."
Trust me, you'll miss that chance when they're gone. Visiting them at the cemetery just isn't the same.
So what does my Dad, a long-time professor of Landscape Architecture at The Ohio State University, have to do with real estate? Well, let's look at the Eleven Lessons You Can Learn from Sean's Dad...
1. Be Demanding...But Respectful - My Dad was a tough teacher. I heard that from many of his former students at his funeral eleven years ago. Yet every one of those students shared with me and my two brothers that they are better landscape architects, professionals, parents, husbands and people because of his demanding nature and the accountability he challenged all of his students (and sons) with.Do you demand consistent efforts and communication from your staff, associates, teammates or consumers you are lucky enough to work with? Have you earned the right to demand results?
2. Listen To and Engage Your Peers - I remember many days hanging out at Brown Hall on campus and marveling at the number of faculty, staff and students who paraded in and out of Dad's office to ask questions, share anecdotes or mastermind issues on the forefront of the profession of landscape architecture.
How open are you to listening to people you work with? Is it possible that "your way" might not be the "right way"? Can you stay open to new ideas, a challenge of your positions and an opportunity to just give people an audience?
3. Enjoy Seeing New Places and Learning New Things - My father was a master at this one. He had been to all fifty of the United States (many multiple times) and had travelled to numerous countries around the globe (many with his wife - my Mom) and usually brought home more than a few decks of slides for sharing later. He and Mom fell in love with the area of Montana around Glacier National Park (in nearby Kalispell, Montana) while he volunteered for the National Park Service during his summer breaks from OSU and they purchased a second home out there to enjoy during summers and Christmas breaks.
Mom still enjoys spending her summers in "God's Country" and my brothers and I and our families have all had the opportunities to savor the relaxing and breathtaking views and lifestyles of Northwest Montana. (If you haven't been to Montana, add it to your "bucket list")
Are you taking advantage of the opportunities you have to venture to new places...with new people...to learn new things? You should. Don't wait until you've got more time, or money, or desire. Do it now...and call a loved one to join you.
4. Learn What's New Before it's New - My Dad was one of the first to utilize a tool called Auto-CAD. It was a computer aided design tool for architecture and landscape architecture that is a common tool these days. He owned a Mac before people knew what a home computer was. If he was still alive, he would have been on Facebook and Twitter early - not to be "hip" or "cool" but he would have found some way to leverage the tool to add value to his industry and to share his learnings with other early adaptors.
How much time are you spending each day learning new things? Are you waiting for the needle to move before you get engaged? Are you pushing on the soft walls of your comfort zone each day? If you're comfortable with the status quo, you'll never be able to see what it's like to sail uncharted waters. Start challenging yourself and others. That's where the victories are earned.
5. Be Loyal - Dad served in the Ohio State University's Department of Landscape Architecture for 29 years. For 90% of my life, I saw my Dad go to his job with a passion and enthusiasm. He always went in each day hoping he could positively affect someone's life. If it was a student, great. If it was a fellow staff or faculty member, great. If it was a server at The Faculty Club on campus, great. If it was one of his sons, great. He just wanted everyone to become better.
Can your teammates count on you? Can your customers and clients depend on you to do what you said you would? Will you be willing to do what it takes to make your company or brokerage better? Are you willing to challenge the status quo and not be satisfied with "good enough"? Will you help to raise the bar in your industry?
6. Help Others Get What They Want - Most of you reading this blog post are in some sort of sales career. My Dad was never is sales but he sure was proud to be a teacher, which means he was in sales more than anyone can imagine. Everyday he was charged with selling his students on their beliefs, their ideas, their careers and their future. He would do whatever he could to help the people he touched succeed.It seems cliche around the holidays to say "it's not about what you get but what you give," but do you really believe it? I'm pretty sure that you could show me a person who spent their life helping others and I am pretty sure I can show you a success.
Do you spend your time in real estate "building relationships, solving problems and having fun"? Then you're doing a great job of this one. Keep it up.
7. Fair & Equal Aren't the Same Thing - Treating students fairly was expected but some of his students got more care and attention because they earned it.
It's expected (I could even say required) that you treat your customers and clients fairly when it comes to service, negotiations and respect; however, it is not expected that you would treat all of your clients equally. Why would you offer the same services and benefits to a client who has done just one deal with you in your career versus a client who has bought or sold four houses with you over the last decade and referred you three clients? You shouldn't... and my guess is, you don't. That's okay?
People who support you deserve your support. Those who don't support now but may in the future have a fair chance to earn your support. Don't be in a hurry to treat everyone the same or else they will be.
8. Look for Opportunities to be a Leader - My Dad was very proud to be an active member of the American Society of Landscape Architects (ASLA). He even was elected President of the organization, having the opportunity to lead his industry as they achieved amazing growth and success. He carried on the legacy of leaders before him and helped blaze a new trail for those who followed. He was also active at the local, state and international levels.
Are you dedicating time to your local office? Your company? Your industry at the local, state or national levels? Are you seeking roles in your local schools, your church or your community? Do you help coach your kids sports teams or volunteer at their youth events? Imagine the people you could positively impact by getting involved as a leader.
9. Be Willing to Share - I was always amazed at the number of industry people who would seek out Dad's advice, support or guidance. I'd answer the phone and there would be landscape architects, community leaders or local politicians on the line asking " is Jot Carpenter there?" He would speak to anyone and everyone if he felt like he had something to add to the conversation, concept or community.
Do you feel you'll gain more by sharing or do you try to keep all the successes and secrets to yourself? Please realize that no one will do it the way you do so don't be afraid to share. If you find something that works, share it with others. Help our industry "raise the bar" knowing that if everyone delivers "truly remarkable service", the value we bring to our buyer and seller clients will grow.
10. Get in the Office Early and Be Willing to Stay Late - Dad would usually be out the door by 7:30am and home by 6pm. He was a member of the Baby Boomer generation so if you have a parent who was a Boomer, he or she probably worked the same schedule. That's what they learned from their parents and they didn't question it. As a professor, he wanted to make himself available to his students morning, noon and night.
There aren't many top producers in the real estate industry that don't practice this as well. If you want to be successful, get up early. Get in front of your clients early and often. Schedule your day, prioritizing your time so the most profitable activities get done first. Stay until the work gets done each day. make things happen.
Then, like my Dad, get home to your family, relax with a big jug of wine and enjoy your evening. Rest up and get ready to do it all over again the next day.
11. Love What You Do - If there is one thing that anyone who knew my Dad will tell you - he loved what he did. Teaching was a passion. Dad was proud to be a Landscape Architect. Dad loved spending time with his wife of 37 years (my Mom, Claire), watching movies, enjoying good food and wine, attending symphony concerts or operas (listening with his eyes shut like most good husbands are known to do) and cheering on his beloved Ohio State Buckeyes. He also enjoyed time with his sons and daughters-in-law and the short time he had meeting two of his eight grandchildren.
If you've read this far, my guess is that you love what you do too. There are over 1.2 million Realtors in the United States (licensed members of the National Association of Realtors) but we all know that not everyone of them is passionate about how they do their job and the way they treat their clients and represent our industry.
When you feel drained at the end of a long day because you gave it all you could, that is loving what you do.
When you can't sleep at night because your brain is starting to think about what you have on your agenda the following day, that is loving what you do.
When you want to build relationships, solve problems and have fun, that is loving what you do.
I hope you can learn something from these 11 lessons from my Dad. I know he'd be proud to know that he is still teaching people after all these years.
Once a Teacher, Always a Teacher
Thanks for continuing to be a teacher, a mentor, a leader and a friend after all these years.
Thanks for being a great husband, father and grandfather.
I want to let you know I am very proud to be your son.
Thanks for being my Dad. I miss you.
